


We'd Been Friends for Forever

by WritersBlock_MyOldFriend



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2019-11-19 11:11:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18134978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritersBlock_MyOldFriend/pseuds/WritersBlock_MyOldFriend
Summary: Lexa had known Clarke forever. So what if she had a little crush. It was fine. She could handle it. Even if her crush was going to break her heart, she was going to be there for her best friend.Based on the song Marry Me by Thomas Rhett





	1. Chapter 1

            Lexa had never been the type to dream of her wedding day. Hell, when she was young she never thought someone like her could get married. So, when she met Clarke in the second grade she didn’t consider the possibility that they would be friends. The two couldn’t have been more polar opposites. Clarke had been planning her wedding for as long as she could remember. She knew exactly what she wanted but still loved to dream of that day in the far-off future. Lexa always knew that Clarke was going to get married, God how could she not? The blonde was gorgeous. Lexa just didn’t know when Clarke was going to get married, or to who.

 

 

**January 1, 2013 – Sophomore year of High School**

            “What do you mean you aren’t gonna get married, Lexa?” Clarke slurred, swaying from her spot a few feet away from the brunette. Lexa smiled at the drunken blonde swaying in front of her. The other girl hadn’t had more than three drinks, but by the way her shoulders slumped and her blue eyes drooped Lexa figured Clarke wasn’t as use to alcohol as she had said she was.

            “Who’s gonna marry me?” Lexa laughed, placing two steadying hands on Clarke’s shoulders.

            “Me!” Clarke beamed, causing a lump to rise in Lexa’s throat. She didn’t want to think about Clarke’s enthusiasm, so she tried to make the drunken girl’s comment ridiculous in her head.

            “Yeah, okay where are we gonna get married, Clarke?”

            Clarke grinned up at the taller girl, swaying more into her than away from her. “Out in the country. I want a country wedding, you know that Lexa!” The brunette laughed at the blonde who continued to invade her personal space. “I’ve always wanted a country wedding, it’s so pretty out there, Lexa. Soooo pretty.”

            _Just like you._ Lexa thought as Clarke came closer and wrapped her arms around Lexa’s neck.

            “You’re gonna make me deal with a bunch of rednecks?” Lexa sighed, placing her hands on the other girl’s generous hips. God, she loved those hips.  

            “Hmm,” Clarke mumbled and Lexa could hear the pout on her face. “country weddings are so pretty though, Lexa” She whined into Lexa’s shoulder.

            Lexa pulled the blonde closer to her, “Looks like we’re gonna have a country wedding then.”

 

 

**February 8, 2024**

 

            Lexa woke with a start and groaned when she realized she had fallen asleep on the couch…again. She shifted her neck from side to side trying to get the crick out of it while she looked for her phone. She stumbled off the couch and over to her satchel, her legs still uncoordinated from sleep. Finally, she was able to pull her phone from the inside pocket of her bag. She normally would groan at the time the phone displayed, but she was more distracted by the list of names underneath the time.

            Lexa wasn’t an idiot. She realized that most twenty-seven-year-olds texted more than she did. She knew that most people her age had bustling social lives and went out on Friday nights. Lexa just had better things to do. She had to work, and she had to look after her elderly neighbor that refused to live on the ground floor. She had shit to do so why did she suddenly have six unread texts?

            She swiped her phone open and went straight to messages. She noticed the top message was the continuing group message made up of her friends from high school. The conversation’s name caused her jaw to tighten, remembering the one thing she wanted to forget most. She looked down further and saw her best friend’s name with the preview message underneath it. She clicked on that one first, and one message turned out to be three. 

 

 **Anya:** You okay? I know seeing that was hard and then them blowing it up in the GM…

 **Anya:** Are you dead? You haven’t responded to me or to them? Text me back, Commander.

 **Anya:** Okay, I’m just going to assume you’re dead cause I KNOW you don’t have a date tonight.

 

            Lexa rolled her eyes and started to type out a reply. She knew it was late but knowing her best friend she was probably still up at this hour. She was probably drunk.

 

 **Lexa:** I’m still alive. I fell asleep on the couch so sorry. And I could have a date if I wanted!

 

            Sure enough, a few minutes later Anya texted back.

 

 **Anya:** Sure you could, kid. How are you doing?

 

 **Lexa:** I’m doing fine, just a hard week at work.

 

            Lexa shrugged she wasn’t sure why Anya was so worried about her. She could handle the GM. It didn’t matter what was said in it. She had dealt with it before. _No big deal._ Nope not at all. She was taken out of her thoughts by her phone buzzing in her hand.

 

 **Anya:** You haven’t seen it yet.

 

Lexa rolled her eyes again at her friend. It was too late for this. She walked over to the kitchen table, stretching her neck and back out hoping to alleviate the pain from sleeping on the couch. She picked up the mail and started sorting through the bills she had left there the night before. Then she stopped. Her heart dropped to the floor and an all too familiar burning sensation pushed against the back of her eyes. This is what Anya meant. This is why Anya kept checking in on her.

There in her hands was an off-white envelope with gold cursive across the front, the return address stamping the house she once considered a second home. Clarke’s wedding invitation. Lexa gulped back the tears rising in her throat and took a deep breath before ripping the envelope open. It was a simple invitation, an ivory background with pale water color flowers on opposite corners and cursive lettering in royal blue ink in the middle. It was old looking to be honest, and that made it so Clarke. The other girl had always been in love with florals and pale colors. She always loved the look of old jewelry and sunglasses. The invitation fit the Clarke that Lexa knew, and that hurt her more than she’d like to admit. She read over the words once, a lump rising higher in her throat with each sentence.

**TOGETHER WITH THEIR FAMILIES**

 

**Clarke Griffin**

**AND**

**Finn Collins**

**JOYFULLY INVITE YOU TO THEIR WEDDING**

**Friday, May 24, 2024**

**AT FIVE O’CLOCK IN THE EVENING**

**THE GRANT-HUMPHREY’S MANSION**

**770 PENNSYLAVANIA STREET**

**DENVER, COLORADO**

**RECEPTION TO FOLLOW**

Lexa placed the invitation back onto the table and took a steadying breath. She lifted her phone up and clicked on the group message named **CLARKE GONNA GET LAID IN MAY.** She ignored the urge to text Raven _again_ and tell her the group message’s name was terrible and not funny. Instead, she read through various messages of her high school friends freaking out and fawning over the wedding plans. Lexa looked at the last message with the contact picture of Clarke with a piece of tape holding back her nose to make her look like a pig beside it, she sighed and dropped her phone. She had to go to sleep.

 

 

  **March 20, 2019 - Senior Year of College**

            Lexa nearly cried in relief when her knees hit the edge of the couch. Anya just rolled her eyes at the younger girl, strutting over to the fridge and pulling out a water bottle for the gasping Lexa. Lexa lunged for the water twisting the top off and taking big gulps, noises of gratitude muffled by the guzzling.

            “Living with blondie has really gotten you out of shape, Commander.” Anya observed, sitting carefully onto the couch before tucking both of her legs underneath her.

            “It…is, not…that.” Lexa struggled, taking deep breaths before gulping the water some more. “School…. kicking…my ass.” She breathed deeply, turning over slightly.

            “Yeah, okay sure. If you’re gonna puke please do so in the sink or something. You borrowed this rug from me.”

            Lexa rolled her eyes and gave Anya the middle finger before flopping back over to her back. The sound of Anya rustling for the remote barely registered in her mind when the front door swung open, a disheveled Clarke struggling to hold her purse, phone, keys, coffee, and medicine text book. Lexa smiled as the shorter woman grumbled to herself as she smacked her purse against the doorframe. Then, without thinking Lexa rolled off the couch, nearly knocking Anya out with her feet, and went over to help Clarke.

            “Thanks.” Clarke sighed, allowing Lexa to take her book, keys, and coffee.

            “No problem.” Lexa smiled, looking down at the blonde. It was easy to imagine them being together in times like this. This could be there future, if Clarke wanted her. The blonde looked up at her and smiled, and Lexa not for the first time wished she could hit pause.

            “Hey, can you two not be disgustingly in love and get out of the door, you’re letting all the hot air in here.” Anya snapped from the couch, breaking apart the two in the doorway.

            “You don’t even live here.” Clarke snapped back, setting her purse on a kitchen counter. Anya made a non-committal noise before falling back into silence. Lexa tried to ignore the feeling in her stomach when she thought about Anya’s implication. She wasn’t in love with Clarke. Okay, so she might have a small crush on her, but Lexa Woods was not _in love_ with Clarke. And there was no way Clarke felt anything for Lexa. Clarke is straight.

            As if she knew what Lexa was thinking, Clarke walked over to where Lexa was leaning against the counter and wrapped her arms around her.

“How was your day?” Clarke asked, placing her chin onto Lexa’s shoulder.

Lexa smiled shyly at the girl, “From the looks of it better than yours.”

“It was pretty rough today, watch movies with me tonight?” Clarke whined, scrunching her face up in a manner that Lexa found adorable.

“Always.” Lexa agreed, ignoring the gagging sounds coming from Anya in the living room.  

            Lexa regretted her decision when Clarke had curled up to her side and fallen asleep, her head resting in the space between Lexa’s neck and shoulder. Lexa could hear the change in Clarke’s breathing and knew that the other girl was awake, but she didn’t move. No, she wanted to remember this. They only had a limited amount of time together before Clarke went off to med school.

Clarke pulled away from Lexa’s shoulder, her blue eyes squinting at the light emitting from the TV. “Good morning,” Lexa smiled, running a hand through the blonde tresses. Clarke blinked several times in the brunette’s direction before breaking out into a full grin and leaning back into Lexa.

            “Hey,” She said, wrapping her arms around Lexa’s and looking up at the girl, “how long have I been out?”

            “Not too long, you didn’t drool on me too bad.” Lexa teased, her stomach flipping backwards when Clarke leaned back into her.

            “Good,” Clarke sighed, smiling into the taller girl’s shoulder before pulling back and looking back up into green eyes. “Lexa, I love you.” She smiled, and Lexa was a goner. Those blue eyes staring up at her, there was nothing in the world she wanted more than to lean down and kiss the blonde. To tell her that she was in love with her. That she had been in love with her since they were kids. Lexa felt herself begin to lean in and she ignored the lurch of her heart when Clarke’s eyes flicked to her lips. _No._ She couldn’t do this she thought suddenly pulling her head back. _They had been friends for forever_ , Lexa wasn’t going to ruin that.

            “Yeah, love you too, Prisa.” Lexa smiled, pushing the lump in her throat down harder than she ever had before.

            Clarke grinned at the nickname, leaning back into Lexa and burying her face in the taller girl’s shoulder, “I forgot, something good did happen today.” Clarke began, “I met a guy at the coffee shop.” Lexa made a sound of approval even if it did sound forced to her own ears. “His name is Finn.”

 

 

**May 24, 2024 – The Wedding Day**

            “Are you sure you’re gonna be okay?” Anya asked for the hundredth time that day, glancing over at Lexa in the passenger seat.

            “I’m gonna be fine.” Lexa replied, pulling a flask out of her black jacket and tipping it to Anya before putting it back.

            “You don’t have to be there this early. You’re not a bridesmaid.” Anya reminded. Lexa’s jaw clenched, remembering the conversation she had had with Clarke about being a bridesmaid. It was hard to explain to the other girl why she didn’t want to do it. It’s kind of hard to explain to the future bride that standing that close to the alter while she married someone that wasn’t Lexa would kill her.

            “I’ll be fine, Anya. Drop it.” Anya nodded, keeping her eyes on the road.

            They pulled up to the venue soon after, and Lexa could feel the same lump as always rise in her throat at the site of it. What was even worse was seeing Clarke standing in the foyer of the mansion, the door left open by the bustling people preparing the wedding. Lexa and Anya got out of the car, the smell of magnolia’s assaulting their senses the closer they got to the mansion. The two stopped at the steps, staring in awe of the mansion’s beauty.

            “I have to go get into my dress.” Anya said, turning to look at Lexa as the two climbed the stairs to the entrance. “You’ll be okay?”

            “I’ll find something to do.” Lexa shrugged, tucking her hands into her pant pockets. Anya nodded and headed off to one of the many rooms the mansion had hidden from view. Lexa nodded to herself, looking around the room. _Yep. It’s gonna happen, nothing I can do now._

            “Anya told me you were here!” A voice called from behind Lexa. Of course, it wasn’t just a voice. No, Lexa would know Clarke’s voice in any language. She turned to face the girl and tried not to let Clarke notice the quick intake of breath she had to take at the sight of her.

            “God, Clarke. You look…” Lexa sighed, shaking her head to clear her racing thoughts. “You look gorgeous. God, you’re stunning, Prisa.”

            Clarke laughed, lifting the puffy white dress off the floor and walking over to Lexa. “You aren’t so bad yourself. Black suit, black tie – if I didn’t know any better I’d say you were going to a funeral.” Lexa smiled at the blonde, knowing that Clarke didn’t understand the truth behind her words. Lexa was at a funeral. She was at a funeral for her foolish dream. She pushed the lump down again and looked into those blue eyes.

            “Yeah,” Lexa gulped, “I guess I was just confused ‘cause you always said you wanted a country wedding. Not very country in Denver.”

Clarke laughed at that, her smile never leaving her face as she moved closer to the brunette. “Yeah, you’re right. This venue was cheaper than the other one, I wanted to save Dad some money. It’s the least I could do.” Lexa nodded, ducking her head trying to ignore the situation entirely. “Besides,” Clarke continued, reaching up and grabbing one of Lexa’s suit lapels, “the country venue is for _our_ wedding, remember?” She poked the boutonniere that would show Lexa was an honorary bridesmaid through her suit’s lapel and secured it like she did it every day.

            “I remember,” Lexa nodded, the lump steadily rising in her throat and the burning behind her eyes increasing tenfold. This was her chance, she could tell Clarke everything. She could spill her guts out to the girl in front of her. _But you can’t, because that would mess it up._

            “I’ll see you in there.” Clarke smiled, wrapping her arms around Lexa’s neck and placed a kiss onto her cheek. Lexa wished those words meant what she wanted them to mean. That Lexa was the person at the alter Clarke would meet. _Why did I even come here?_

Clarke pulled away and darted off to some hallway and Lexa scuffed her foot as Clarke’s father and grandfather walked into the room. Jake smiled wide at her and pulled her into a hug. Lexa could tell the older Griffin was nervous. Lexa knew he had been dreading this day because she had been too. Clarke’s grandfather smiled at Lexa, worrying with his tie as he prepared to marry his granddaughter. Lexa was happy he had lived to see this, for Clarke’s sake at least.

The other guest arrived soon after, walking through the mansion’s foyer and into the small chapel where the wedding was being held. Then, music began to play and Finn joined Clarke’s grandfather at the alter while Lexa snuck in to stand behind the last row. Before Lexa knew it, Clarke was walking down the aisle, her hair in waterfall curls, her left arm clutching her father’s right for dear life, and Lexa thought she had never looked more stunning. Lexa sighed, finally allowing the lump to rise in her throat. She hoped her spot would prevent anyone from seeing the tears rolling down her cheek. She took a strong shot of whiskey straight from the flask as Clarke met Finn at the altar.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this was originally gonna be just an angsty one shot, but people seemed to like it so I decided to continue it. If you live for the angst I would just read chapter one and be done with it. If angst isn't your thing, then join me for what is about to be a mess of a story ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> \--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

            Lexa ran. The mansion doors slamming shut behind her should have felt like closure but it didn’t. It felt like war drums urging her to keep going, to keep running away from the thing that made her chest ache. She took off down the sidewalk trying to figure out where she could go for a while. She just wanted to be alone for just a little while. She just wanted peace.

            She couldn’t walk back to her apartment, and even if she could she didn’t want to be there. Lexa stared at her phone for a beat too long trying to find a hotel that she could crash at until the aftermath of leaving the wedding ended. She had left Clarke’s wedding. Holy hell she had left Clarke’s wedding before they even said their vows. She was such a bitch. She shook her head and got an Uber, making a list in her head for things she had to get before she went all Lost Girl on her friends.

 

* * *

 

            “What the hell were you thinking, Lexa?” Anya’s voice boomed over the phone, causing the brunette to groan and cover her face.

            “I wasn’t thinking okay. I just had to get out of there.” Lexa replied trying not to sound exhausted.

            “Where are you?” The older girl demanded, and Lexa could just picture her friend seething in her apartment.

            “Don’t worry about it. I’m coming home tomorrow.”

            “Oh, you’re coming home? That’s great Lexa especially since you’ve apparently been out in the bumfuck of nowhere for two weeks!”

            “I’m literally still in town.” Lexa sighed, laying back onto the made bed in her hotel room.

            “You fucked up so bad, Lex,” Anya whispered, and Lexa could tell her friend was calming down from her previous tantrum.

            “I know.”

            “Clarke was worried. She tried calling you sixteen times at the reception. Probably more once they left.”

            “I know, Anya,” Lexa whispered, remembering Clarke’s name flashing on her phone the entire night until she eventually had to turn it off for her own sanity. “They’re still married though.”

            “Lexa.” Anya sighed, allowing a moment of silence to pass between them. “Get home safe okay. You got a shit storm coming, Commander.”

Lexa arrived home at eleven o’clock the night after she talked to Anya. She was hoping that sneaking into her apartment at night would let her avoid her best friend and any of the mutual friends her and Clarke had. Opening the door to reveal a very awake Anya had quickly crushed her dreams though.

            “You could have at least told me you’d be back at midnight. I’ve been here all day.” Anya snarked, standing from her position on the couch and walking over to the brunette. She pulled the younger girl into a bone-crushing hug that had Lexa fumbling for words. “I’m glad you’re safe, Kid.”

            “I’m fine,” Lexa replied, pulling away from the hug and looking around her apartment. She noticed that Anya must have been staying there for a while. She also noticed Clarke’s wedding invitation had been removed from her fridge. She silently thanked her best friend for that. “I could only get off work for two weeks on such short notice.”

            “Yeah well, you go unpack. We haven’t talked, but that doesn’t mean we won’t.”

            Lexa nodded, grateful that Anya had her back in the situation.

 

* * *

 

 

            Anya had made good on her promise not to tell anyone that Lexa was home for the first two weeks she was back. Lexa just wanted to go back to normal and the only way she could do that was to be alone. So, she had made Anya promise to not tell anyone. Not Raven. Not Lincoln. And especially not the Blake siblings. Anya had done that and she was beyond grateful…until Raven Reyes nearly kicked down her door one Thursday morning.

            “You better have a good fucking excuse for leaving Clarke’s wedding you piece of shit.” Raven had a certain degree of intimidation she used, and while Lexa could easily handle the lean girl she was slightly afraid.

            “I don’t have an excuse.” Lexa shrugged, keeping her face stoic as she looked Raven in the eyes.

            “You don’t have an excuse?” Raven asked, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow at the older girl.

            “Not a good one,” Lexa confirmed.

            “I should punch you. I should lay you out, right fucking here.” Raven ranted, turning away from Lexa and looking back at a guilty looking Anya. “I should punch both of you.”

            “Listen, Raven. I’m sor-” Lexa tried only to be cut off by the younger girl.

            “Don’t say that to _me_. Clarke called me every day during her honeymoon. Her _honeymoon,_ Lexa! Worried about you and if we had found you yet.”

            “I’m sorry.” Lexa sighed, her eyes flicking from the fuming brunette in front of her to her best friend.

            Raven softened suddenly, her shoulders rolling back into a more relaxed position, “I know you are. But that doesn’t make what you did okay. It was her wedding day, Lexa. You’re her best friend and you didn’t even care about her getting married.”

            “We both know I did though.” Lexa sighed, plopping down into a kitchen chair and rubbing her temples. “You know why I ran out just as much as I do.”

            “Yeah, but Clarke doesn’t. You know she only married Finn because of her Dad’s cancer.”

            “No, she didn’t,” Lexa argued, ignoring the guilt she felt rising in her chest.

            “You and I both know she did. Her dad wanted to walk her down the aisle and this gave him a chance. You and I both know she deserves better than Finn Collins.”

            “It doesn’t matter,” Lexa argued, suddenly standing from the chair. “They’re married and it’s over. I did what I did and it’s over. I just got to live with it.”

            “And you have to apologize to Clarke,” Raven added.

            “I will,” Lexa agreed, “I will I just need some time.”

            The door to her apartment flew open as a streak of dark hair and fury entered the apartment.

            “You worthless piece of shit!” Octavia growled, standing to her full height.

            Lincoln strolled in after her, ducking his head to not hit the top of the door frame. Lexa looked at him pleadingly as Octavia stared angrily up at her.

            “I’m just here for backup.” He clarified, giving his friend a timid smile.

            “Octavia listen,” Lexa tried, only to get hit with agonizing pain.

            Lexa stumbled back, her hand clumsily reaching for her face as she felt tears spring in her eyes. She could feel the warm rush of blood flowing down her face and wondered if she was about to be killed by the shorter woman. She could hear Lincoln move to grab a hold of his enraged girlfriend and silently thanked the gods that he was there.

            “Holy shit,” Anya gasped, as Lexa staggered back to her full height. “She broke your fucking nose!” Lexa could just hear the laugh in Anya’s voice and she glared at her best friend.

            “Let me see.” Lincoln asked, pushing Octavia behind him and gently placing his huge hands onto Lexa’s temples, “Eh, she hit you good alright. It’s definitely broken you need to go to the hospital. Raven, can you grab a towel.”

            Octavia stood in the corner, her arms cross and still seething as Lincoln helped Lexa out of her apartment and into Anya’s car.

            “Thanks,” Lexa mumbled, her voice coming out slightly nasally, “I think Anya and Raven have it from here.”

            “No problem,” Lincoln smiled, “Sorry about Octavia but I promise you a broken nose is the best outcome in this situation. Lincoln chuckled obviously thinking about his girlfriend.

            “I deserved it.” Lexa shrugged, feeling even that simple movement in her busted nose.

            “You’re good people, Lexa. Remember that.” Lincoln patted her shoulder and then closed the car door.

 

* * *

 

 

            The emergency room’s dry, sterile air caused Lexa’s nose to hurt even more if that was possible. Raven and Anya were in the corner of the tiny sheeted off “room” they were assigned, seeing who could blow up the largest glove. Lexa tried to ignore the other women and the pain currently throbbing up her nose. The bleeding had stopped soon after they had gotten into the car and even though her entire face was nearly swollen, Lexa could tell that her nose was definitely taking a hard-right angle.

The curtain was pulled back and Lexa’s heart nearly stopped. She knew she had to look like a deer to the blonde standing in front of her.

“I’m Dr. Griffin,” Clarke started, her eyes never leaving the tablet in her hands and she adjusted the curtain back, “and I’ll be your,” She cut herself off as she looked up to meet emerald eyes staring back at her.

“Awkward,” Raven stage whispered, looking between the two women who were just staring at each other.

Clarke’s eyes cut to Raven and Anya in the corner and then back to Lexa. She sighed and made her way over to the small cabinet Raven and Anya had been occupying.

“We’re gonna go back to the waiting room,” Raven said, grabbing onto Anya’s hand and pulling her towards the exit.

“Yeah, yeah.” Anya nodded, “Too crowded in this place.”

            The two quickly rushed out and left Lexa and Clarke alone, or as alone as a curtained-off room would allow. Lexa would have sighed loudly if her nose wasn’t currently screaming at her.

“Your chart says that you think you have a nasal fracture, Miss Woods.” Clarke began, slipping gloves onto her hand. Lexa felt a stab of pain at the formality of Clarke’s voice. This was her doctor’s voice and Lexa hated it.

“Clarke,” The brunette tried, moving slightly to face the other woman.

“Your chart says the nose was bleeding when did it stop?” Clarke continued, ignoring Lexa’s pleading voice.

“Clarke,” Lexa tried again, tilting her head to try to meet the other woman’s eyes.

“Please just answer the question, Miss Woods.”

“About fifteen minutes ago.” Clarke punched numbers into the tablet and continued down the Lexa’s chart all the while Lexa was watching. “Clarke, I’m sorry.” Lexa pleaded, watching as Clarke turned her head away from the brunette and gritted her teeth together. Lexa swore she saw tears welling up in the blue eyes she loved so much.

“Don’t.” Clarke whispered, “You don’t get to do that.”

“Just look at me please,” Lexa begged again. She could hear her voice getting more frantic, but couldn’t stop it.

Clarke whirled around facing Lexa, “Why?” She nearly growled, her eyes set in determination. “Why did you run out of _my_ wedding Lexa?”

“Clarke,” Lexa sighed. The pain that rushed over her wasn’t as bad as watching as the blonde grew angrier.

“Was it too much for you to see me happy? Did you remember some important errand you had to run?” Lexa looked down at her feet, she knew she deserved the anger coming off of Clarke, but the words still stung. “Then! Then you go missing for,” Clarke glanced at the calendar on the wall, “four fucking weeks. You just up and left not worried about anybody else but Lexa, huh? That’s who’s number one in your book. Just you.”

“Clarke,” Lexa tried again.

“Why, Lexa. I want you to tell me why.”

“Clarke, it’s complicated.” Lexa finally got out, looking up at the blonde.

“No,” Clarke shook her head, “That’s not good enough.”

“Clarke,” Lexa repeated again, reaching out to grab Clarke’s waving hands, “Please, I’m sorry. I didn’t know I would react that way. You have to believe that, you know me. I didn’t, I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Well, you did.” The blonde sighed, the anger in her eyes from earlier slowly fading, “That’s still not a why Lexa.”

“It’s complicated.”

“Then make it not complicated,” Clarke shrugged out of Lexa’s grip.

Lexa leaned her head back to stare at the ceiling. Why was she cursed?

Clarke continued, “Please, Lexa.”

“I will.” Lexa nodded, ignoring the sting from her nose, “Not here though. Come to my apartment after your shit?”

Clarke looked her face over, lightly running her finger down the crooked bridge of Lexa’s nose. “Hmm, I don’t think so.” Clarke sighed, placing her hands onto Lexa’s cheeks and moving her face around to get a better look at Lexa’s nose. “Your nose is broken, I’m gonna put you on a light pain killer and something to get the swelling down. You’ll have to come back once the swelling goes down for me to determine if it can be set or if you’ll need surgery.” She moved away from Lexa and ripped her gloves off throwing them into the bin. She typed something into the tablet and Lexa held her breath as blue eyes flickered back up to lock onto green, “We can talk tomorrow. You need to get home and rest right now. How did this even happen?”

“Octavia,” Lexa replied, shrugging her shoulders.

“Yeah,” Clarke smiled, “That explains it.”

The two looked at each other for a beat too long before Clarke grabbed her tablet again, and started to make her way towards the gap in the curtain.

“A nurse will come in when your prescription for the pain medication goes through. After that, you can leave. I really don’t know why you came to the hospital though, the bleeding stopped pretty quickly. Most people come in once the swelling goes down, it’s basic protocol for a broken nose.” She shrugged, giving Lexa a small smile as she left.

Lexa grinned at the spot for a good fifteen seconds before she realized what Clarke said. She grinned even wider when she realized what Lincoln had done. She didn’t know whether she could kiss him or kick his ass. Either would do she supposed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an absolute shit show, but I tried

           

* * *

 

            Lexa winced as she gingerly ran the tip of her finger over her now crooked nose. The swelling had lessened overnight, but the skin covering the crooked bone was now painted in an unsightly black and blue bruise. The pain medication Clarke had prescribed her had worn off several hours ago and Lexa was finally starting to feel the eye-watering ache in her nose again. It stung, to say the least.

            Clarke had texted her earlier that morning, much to the older woman’s delight. She had woken up and thought that her old friend might have changed her mind during the night. Lexa wouldn’t have blamed her. They had known each other nearly their entire lives, and Lexa had stormed out of her wedding for no apparent reason as far as Clarke knew. Lexa sighed, ignoring the twinge in her nose, at the thought of Clarke at the altar with the man she had only meet a couple of times over the past five years.

            A loud banging at her door brought Lexa out of her thoughts as she made her way to the door. She wasn’t expecting Clarke for another few hours, so Lexa approached the door carefully. Octavia stood in front of her with her arms crossed over chest, a frown on her face.

            “You aren’t here to knock my teeth out, are you?” Lexa joked, taking in the defensive stance of the smaller girl. “Because that will cost a lot more to fix than a broken nose.”

            Octavia just glared at her, pushing her way into Lexa’s apartment. “I’m not here to cause you any more psychical harm.”

            The two stared at each other for a moment, not sure what to do. Lexa and Octavia weren’t close. Up until a few years ago, Octavia had always just been Bellamy’s little sister to Lexa. Then Clarke had taken the younger woman under her wing after the siblings’ mother had unexpectedly died. Shortly after that, Octavia and Lincoln began dating and her spot in the group was solidified.

            “I’m here to apologize,” Octavia began, “for punching you in the face and everything.”

            “Thank you. For apologizing,” Lexa acknowledge.  “I get why you did it though,”

            “Yeah, but I still shouldn’t have hit you,” the shorter woman shrugged, “I’m sorry for that. I’m trying to be a better person,”  

            “Should we hug?” Lexa grinned, watching the harsh look Octavia shot her way.

            “Don’t push it, Commander,” Octavia warned, a small smile making its way onto her face. “I really can’t blame you for running out. I can’t imagine what it’d be like to watch the person you’re in love with marry someone else.”

            “I’m not in love with Clarke!” Lexa argued, throwing her hands into the air for a dramatic flair.

            “Yeah you are,” Octavia snorted, “We talk about it all the time.”

            Lexa shook her head, “She’s coming over after her shift today. We’re gonna _talk._ ”

            “Are you going to tell her you’re in love with her?”

            “I don’t know what I’m going to tell her,” Lexa mumbled, suddenly fascinated by her feet. Octavia’s face softened for just the briefest moment.

“You should tell her,” Octavia sighed out, before her face hardened once again, “Or you can go on pining for the rest of your life.”

            Lexa allowed a small smile to break across her face, “Thank you, Octavia.”

 

* * *

 

 

            A much lighter knock filtered through the door later that evening. Clarke had texted Lexa fifteen minutes ago that her shift had finally ended and that she was on her way. Lexa had wiped the kitchen counter down three times and adjusted the coffee table’s coasters around at least six. She knew that Clarke wouldn’t care how her apartment looked, but she needed to do something with her hands.

            Lexa opened the door and couldn’t help the sigh that escaped her injured nose. Clarke was still in her scrubs, her hair pulled back into a tight bun that Lexa knew would come down as soon as she entered the apartment. Lexa knew she had worked a ten-hour shift, but somehow the other woman didn’t appear tired. She smiled up at Lexa, a light blush covering her cheeks.

            “Hey,” She sighed, a small smile on her face.

            “Hey,” Lexa smiled back, stepping back to let Clarke into the apartment.

            Clarke made her way over to the couch, sitting down before pulling her legs underneath her body. She began to pull the pins out of her hair and running her hands through the loose strands. “Are you gonna sit?” Clarke quirked an eyebrow at the brunette, causing Lexa to fumble for a moment.

            “Yeah, sorry.” Lexa sighed, sitting on the opposite side of the couch. “I guess I’m just being weird about this.”

            “Lexa,” Clarke reached her hand out to place it onto the older girl’s knee, “We’re just talking.”

            “I’m sorry for running out of the mansion. I’m sure that disturbed the entire wedding,” Lexa began, wringing her hands together and refusing to look at the woman opposite her. “And I’m sorry for leaving town for a few weeks, I didn’t mean to worry you.”

            “Lexa, why did you run out anyway?” Lexa looked up to face Clarke, blue eyes roaming over her face made her self-conscious and she looked back down at the floor. “I’ve been over it again and again in my head, you know? You didn’t want to be a bridesmaid, you were weird whenever the wedding was brought up, and then you just run out of my wedding. It hurt, Lexa I’m not gonna lie to you. You’re my best friend, I wanted you to be happy for me, and then you just left.”

            “I know, and I’m sorry I didn’t think about that,” Lexa admitted.

            “So, why’d you do it? If it wasn’t to hurt me? Do you not like Finn? Because trust me you wouldn’t be the first friend to say that.”

            Lexa stared up at the ceiling for a minute gathering herself before speaking, “No, Finn is fine as far as I know.”

            “Then what?” Clarke urged, causing a lump to rise in Lexa’s throat.

            “Clarke, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you but seeing you up there, it hurt me. I couldn’t stand it. I’m sorry.”

            “Why did it hurt you, Lexa?” Clarke questioned, moving closer to the woman.

            “Clarke,” Lexa sighed, shaking her head, “I was jealous. I was jealous of Finn because he got to marry you while I was stuck in the back. Because, I really, really like you, Clarke. I’m sorry about this. I’m sorry I let stupid feelings get in the way. I’m sorry I hurt you, that was never my intention.”

            “You like me?” Clarke questioned, pulling back from Lexa. “What do you mean by that, Lexa?”

            “Maybe, Anya wasn’t wrong about me being in love with you all those years ago,” Lexa whispered, her jaw tightening. Clarke stood up quickly, her feet moving before Lexa knew what was happening.

            “You love me? You’re in love with me? For how long?”

            “Clarke, I don’t know. I guess I always have.”

            “No. No, you don’t get to do that.” Clarke shook her head, tears welling up in her eyes, “You don’t love me. You made that clear our entire friendship.”

            “Clarke, I’m sorry.”

            “Did you know?” Clarke asked, tears freely falling from her eyes, “Did you know that I had a thing for you when we were younger? Did you just ignore it?”

            “You had a thing for me?” Lexa asked, wanting to reach for her old friend but knowing she shouldn’t.

            “Lexa, I was fucking in love with you. But you, _you,_ always pushed me away. Whenever Anya would joke about it, whenever Raven made crude comments you shut them down.”

            “Clarke,”

            “And now, I find out that you’re apparently in love with me!”

            “What was I supposed to do?” Lexa suddenly stood, the stoic mask she often wore covering her face as she stared down the other woman, “What was I supposed to do? Make a move on my straight friend who was in a _relationship._ I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, and I’m sorry that I ran out during your wedding. And I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you this before you were married, but me being sorry doesn’t change the situation. I’m in love with you and you’re married. I’m sorry that these are our shitty lives.” Lexa was shocked by her own words, shocked by how harshly they left her mouth. She watched as Clarke backed from away from her. She watched as the younger woman’s jaw tightened, and watched as she shook her head.

            “Finn’s married,” Clarke stated her voice matter of fact instead of angry.

            “What?” Lexa asked the irritation she felt earlier quickly leaving her in a rush of air.

            “Finn’s married to another woman. He told me after the wedding.” Clarke sat back down on the couch, Lexa copying her actions.

            “Are they, are they separated? Are they getting a divorce?” Lexa stuttered out, confused by the change in conversation.

            “Nope.” Clarke popped the p, “They are very much still together and still in love.”

Lexa watched her slowly taking in the way the woman’s eyes still watered. “I don’t know he wants us to be some crazy polygamous family.”

            “That’s very illegal,” Lexa mumbled.

            “I’m sorry I snapped at you earlier,” Clarke admitted, wiping the unshed tears from her eyes. “It’s just, out of all the things I thought you’d say it wasn’t that.”

            “I get it,” Lexa shrugged, moving closer Clarke and resting her hand on the other woman’s forearm. “I’m sorry too.”

            “Can we stop saying sorry?” Clarke laughed, “We’ve both been idiots these past few years, and now I have a fucking sister wife.”

            Lexa smiled, “What you don’t believe in polygamy?”

            “I don’t care what other people do, but it’s definitely not for me. Especially with Finn telling me about it _after_ our wedding.”

            “Is she hot?” Lexa asked, a shit-eating grin breaking across her face at the glare Clarke shot her.

            “You just admitted you’re in love with me and you want to know if my husband’s other wife is hot?”

            “For research,” Lexa argued. Clarke rolled her eyes but fished her phone out to pull up the other’s woman’s socials. Lexa raised her eyebrows as she scrolled down the woman’s page.

            “She looks a lot like Raven,” Lexa noted, handing the phone back to Clarke.

            “Yeah, it really puts into perspective why he always flirted with Raven when he was drunk.”

            “God, you really married an asshole didn’t you.” Lexa laughed.

            “That’s an understatement.” Clarke agreed, smiling up at the other woman. “Lexa, I don’t know what’s gonna happen with my marriage, or really what’s even gonna happen between us. But, I can’t lose you. You’re my best friend, Lexa and I’ve really missed you.”

            “I’ve missed you too,” Lexa admitted.

            “Once I figure out this sister-wife thing, we’re gonna talk about…about that other thing, okay.” Clarke sighed, reaching for Lexa’s hand unexpectedly.

            “Yeah, okay.” Lexa nodded, squeezing Clarke’s hand in reassurance. “But in the meantime, can you tell me what you think about my nose?” Lexa smiled, trying to break the tension between her and the other woman.

            “Oh, it’s definitely gonna have to be set, Commander.” Clarke laughed examining Lexa’s crooked nose, and for the first time since the wedding, Lexa felt like she had gotten her best friend back.


	4. Chapter 4

* * *

 

Lexa watched as Clarke paced in the Griffin’s well-furnished living room. Jake Griffin sat across from Lexa, a small smile peeked over his cup as he watched his daughter worry over nothing. Clarke had filed for an annulment days after she told Lexa of her predicament with Finn and his other wife. The annulment was approved easily enough, something the blonde had just learned a day ago. Clarke had asked Lexa to come with her to tell her parents of the news, and now Lexa shifted on the new uncomfortable couch the Griffin’s had bought after the old friends had graduated from high school. The garage door brought Lexa back to the present as she noticed the terrified look on Clarke’s face.

            “Shit, she’s home, Lexa!” Clarke whined, much to Jake amusement, “She’s gonna interrogate me!”

            “Well, at least she’ll be happy about the annulment.” Lexa tried, giving her old friend a smile, she hoped was reassuring.

            “I don’t even have an apartment!” Clarke hissed, pushing hair out of her face.

            “Abby will be fine, Princess.” Jake smiled, standing from the couch and wrapping a large arm over his daughter. “She’s gonna be ecstatic about the annulment, everything else can be figured out later. After all, we get the money from the wedding paid back. That’s the best thing that sorry excuse for a man has done.”

  

* * *

  

            “We’re back, bitches!” Octavia yelled, slamming the shot glass in her hand back onto the table, “Linc, get us another round. We’re celebrating Clarke’s failed marriage!”

            “It’s not _failed_ ,” Clarke reiterated for the fifth time that night, “It was annulled. It’s like it never existed.”

            Octavia rolled her eyes and moved waved her hand towards the table around her, “Do any of you care about the legal terms?”

            Lexa snickered into her beer only to earn a glare from Clarke. She gave her an apologetic smile before she waved her hand towards their friends, “No one is saying they care.” Clarke threw a piece of napkin at the older woman.

            “I’m just glad you actually went through with it.” Raven piped up, a hand lazily hanging off of Anya’s neck. “Finn was a _dick._ He didn’t deserve you.”

            “Agreed,” Lexa whispered, earning an eye roll from Anya.

            “Okay, I’m out of here before they start making out.” Anya gagged out, pulling Raven along with her. Clarke grinned as their friends slowly started to leave the table, most likely going to find other forms of entertainment.

            “Did everyone know but us?” Clarke asked once the table was cleared.

            “Think so.” Lexa sighed, placing her beer bottle onto the table. “But the cat’s out of the bag now.” 

            “You know Raven was right. Finn was a dick. No one ever told me what they really thought of him. They were too afraid of hurting me, even my own father.”

            “Well, if it makes you feel any better Finn did put on a good act.”

            “I don’t want an act,” Clarke sighed, “I never did. I just think, I think I thought I had to settle for him. I knew how he was, but I was convinced that’s what I had to do.”

            “You don’t have to settle for anything, Clarke.” Lexa reassured, placing a hand onto the other woman’s arm.

            “I’m finally starting to understand that.” Clarke sighed, a small smile creeping onto her face as she leaned into Lexa.

 

* * *

 

            “So, you gonna tell me about this whole thing with Blondie?” Anya asked, smirking to herself as Lexa ran into the door frame.

            “There’s nothing going on, Anya. Clarke just needed to stay here for a few weeks until she can move into her own apartment.”

            “Mhm, and I’m guessing she’s fine with sleeping on the couch?”

            Lexa frowned at her best friend, “Clarke is a doctor, Anya. I couldn’t make her sleep on the couch. That could endanger lives,”

            “So, you’re sleeping on the couch?”

            “I was.”

            “Was?” Anya asked, a shit-eating grin splitting her face.

            “Clarke insisted that I share the bed with her. Since it’s my apartment and all.” Lexa explained, looking anywhere but at Anya.

            “You know, the way you two act it’s almost like you’re still oblivious to how in love you are with each other.”   

            “Anya, there is nothing going on between me and Clarke. At least not now.”

            “You want there to be though.”

            “Of course, I do,” Lexa shrugged, “but Clarke just got out of a marriage. We’ve told each other how we’ve felt. The ball is in her court now. I’m not pushing anything until I know she’s in a good place.”

            “You’re getting soft, Commander.” Anya smiled, shaking her head as Clarke walked into the small apartment.

            “Hey, guys,” Clarke smiled, slipping her shoes off by the door. “Oh God, what did you do?” Clarke asked, noticing the grin on Anya’s face.

            “Oh, don’t worry, Blondie. I was just finishing up a conversation with the Commander here. I got to get going,” Anya stood abruptly and pushed her chair back under the table, “You two have a wonderful evening.”

            “I don’t know why she insists on calling me ‘Blondie’ I mean she’s blonde too.” Clarke sighed, heading to the back of the apartment to get changed.

            “Anya just likes to be an asshole,” Lexa called after the blonde woman, moving over to sit on the worn couch.

            “I’m fully aware.” Clarke laughed, plopping down beside Lexa on the couch. She had changed out of her scrubs and was now in shorts and a sweatshirt, a combination Lexa never understood but would never complain about it. “I was thinking about making some tacos tonight. Do we have shredded cheese?”

            “Yeah, it’s in the bottom drawer,” Lexa confirmed, watching as Clarke skipped over to the kitchen. She would always be amazed about how much energy Clarke had after working an entire day.

            “Oh, this is the good cheese too. C’mon help me, _Commander.”_ Clarke teased, as she threw the shredded cheese onto the counter.

            Lexa dutifully got to her feet and made her way over to the kitchen. She watched the blonde for longer than socially acceptable. She was telling Anya the truth earlier. There was nothing going on between her and Clarke. Lexa grinned when Clarke made a face as she pulled lettuce out of the fridge. There wasn’t anything between the two of them yet, but Lexa knew that with every passing day they were getting closer to that point. And Lexa was just fine with that.


End file.
